The Adventures of J Thunder

Last night I had a dream. It was pretty awesome.

This is what I remember from it.

The dream starts with my friends Ethan, Scott, Andy, Nick and I hanging out in a bad ass tree fort we made in the middle of some random forest in Mexico, we also happen to be drug cartels, and 10 years old….

Moving on. While we grow our crop of illicit plant material, we would add to our tree fort, play with legos, and Scott would randomly being playing with explosives.

Then somehow we were our actual ages and at some random club. the owner of the club walks over to our table and slaps nick across the face and a bit of brawl breaks out between them. I try to stop it but the club owner punches me and we all end up in a crazy drunken mash pit and the club owner pulls a knife out and stabs Nick. Sadly Nick dies. I then grab the club owners armed hand as he tries to stab me too, I then grab his arm at the elbow and pull forward while pushing the knife away from me, breaking his arm in a very brutal manner. Then we promptly gtfo.

After mourning the loss of our friend by burning his share of the crop. The FBI came to investigate us. Luckily Scott thought this would happen and hid a series of bombs around our fort to destroy it and all of the evidence inside it.

The down side he didn’t tell us about it until he was lighting the fuses and telling us to “book it!”

We all meet at our rendezvous and we discussed how to get back to America. We decide to split up and meet on the other side of the border. Scott and Andy, and Ethan and I.

At this point we become 10 again. wondering through a flooded border village in Mexico, trying to get back into America. I decide that we should swim into a random MSU campus that probably doesn’t exist. On our way we talked about how we were probably swimming in poop. (hey we were 10)

Unfortunately right when we were going to cross into the campus A FBI agent dressed as a turtle spots us swimming through the muck. I look to Ethan and say follow my lead.

I grab a handful of mud and begin face painting the people in the crowd that had formed at some point. most of them being of some historical importance or a super star from today. (Only Ben Franklin and Adele come to mind now.) Another FBI agent in the crowd informs us that she would like to ask us a few question for her boss. I tell her that we are actually on our way to see him and start walking away. Then we are our actual ages and wearing our winter coats and Ethan hands me a joint and says

Ethan: You see that semi truck over there?

Me: The one pulling the white trailer with the flaps on the side? (as I exhale)

Ethan:Yup. (before he takes his hit)

Me:On three? (I say after he hands it to me)

Ethan:One. (during his exhale)

Me: Two. (my exhale)

Together: THREEEEEEEE!

We both break into a dead sprint and jump into the random door flaps in the side of this semi trucks trailer.

We make it to the border in the back of the truck.

The border is under full alert to look for us.

The truck gets searched by the head officer. he appears not to see us. so he orders his newest trooper to double check. she looks inside the trailer and looks right at us, her eyes widen.

Two 10 year olds sitting in the back of the trailer smoking a joint shaking their heads mouthing the words “no”

And at this point I wake up.

I don’t know if she told on us….. or if we made it home.

That’s kinda just how it ended. 

SO! a few days ago I started probably my 12th Run through of Mass Effect 2.

I haven’t really done much yet, I just finished picking up garrus and mordin on omega, but I’m going for 100% completion.

the whole reason I’m doing another run you ask? becuase I need to have a character ready for mass effect 3 in march, and I expect that a completionist run will take about 50 hours of gameplay. So i’m giving myself sometime to do it right.

the character I’m using is my lvl 30 solider and I’m playing on hardcore… so It might take a few extra hours here and there.

my goal is to one day have all 6 of the classes, beat every game. so far I’m 4/6 on mass effect 1 and 3/6 on mass effect 2. out of what I have played so far I’d have to say that the engineer is my favorite class because you can empty a room in like 3 heavy incinerate blasts. It’s just real bad ass.

I’ll keep an update on my progress.

JThunder out

Apon reaching the Sleeping Giant Inn I ordered a mead and conversed with one of the innkeepers. He told me of a bounty on a bandit leaders head and of a college in Winterhold that was dedicated to the study of magic.

The latter intrigued me. The use of my limited casting abilities help me flee from a dragon and live to tell the tale. I figured I should try and enter the college, but when I tried to gain passage to Winterhold via a carriage I found that I didn’t have the coin.

It looked like my only choice was to find this bandit leader and bring his head to the Jarl.

It was half a days walk to the bandits lair. His gang and him were held up in a cave by the name of Redocan’s Retreat.

I made sort work of them. My magic prowess far surpassing their swordplay. After killing them I found their leader in the back of the cavern.

He came at me with a large steel warhammer. His first attack almost hit me in the leg, his second was a direct blow to my side, but before he could land the next attack I set him ablaze.

After he fell to the ground I took is gold and treasures that he had collected over who knows how long. I set off to collect my bounty, for the bandits were dealt with, my work done.

Inorder to receive my gold I had to head to the town of Whiterun. I was stopped at the gate by a town guard. I could not enter the town with the recent dragon activity. I informed him that I had news from Helgan and he let me in.

The Jarl seemed to be unimpressed with the news. He continued to slouch in his chair. I told him of how the dragon interupted the execution of Ulfric stormcloak and his soldiers. I decided it was best for myself to leave out the fact that I was also on my way to the block.

He then sent me on a task to fetch a dragonstone.

It was an interesting enough task but I felt I was ill prepared to brave a dungeon supposedly guarded by nords that have been dead for ages.

So I took my reward and decided to instead head for Winterhold and perfect my abilities as a mage.

My name is Tal and this is the tale of my adventures in the northern lands of Skyrim, homeland of the nords.

I awoke this morning in a dense fog in the back of a wagon. My hands bound. My mind blank. My name all I could remember.

There were four of us, 3 nords and I, a lone high elf. all bound and being brought somewhere.

Ralof was the first to address me. He spoke of an imperial ambush that resulted in our capture. He was a stormcloak, a true son of Skyrim they say.

One of the others was a thief, lokir was is name, he was caught up in this mess as I was. He blamed them for the troubles we were in and all I could do was nod in agreement.

The fourth man in the wagon was none other than the leader of the stormcloak rebellion. Ulfric stormcloak.

I knew at this point that wherever this wagon was going would be the place of my death. This was only confirmed as we approached the town of Helgan. The headsmen’s block awaited.

They called our names as we were lined up for our deaths. The thief ran after his name was called, an arrow in the back was his end.

When I was called forward an imperial soldier ask my name. He asked his captian what they should do about me not being on the list, her response was to put me with the others, I was to die with them.

As the priestess read our last rights the soldier at the block interupted her. His last act of defiance was a bold one, I’ll never be sure if it was from bravery or fear, and the axe made sure no one would know for certain.

I was next to the block and as I placed my face in the blood of the nord before me I saw a large midnight black dragon take flight from the mountains behind a tower. It came towards the town and its horrific powers of death and destruction rained down on the town.

I do believe I took this a chance to flee.

I ran after Ralof, one of the nords from the wagon. We took shelter in one of the keeps near by. The screams of the towns people as the dragon burnt their flesh will haunt my dreams as long as I continue to live, but I was still not safe. I had jump out of a hole in the keep created by the dragon. I landed in what was left of an inn where I was meet by the imperial soldier who told me if I was to live I had to follow him.

My hands still being bound left me with very little choice.

He took me to another keep and freed me of my bindings. We then traveled through the keep into an underground cavern where we managed to get out of the town alive.

Before we parted ways, he told me that I should head to solitude and join the imperial cause for my talents would see full use in their employ.

He then also made mention of his uncle, the blacksmith of Riverwood, the nearest town.

After the way my day started, I figured a nice bottle of mead was in order so I headed for Riverwood.

Soooooo I’m going to start a series of posts about my new Skyrim character.

There will be spoilers. I’ll post updates on his journey every day or so.

I hope you enjoy.

J-Thunder out.

Well hello to everyone. I’m at founder brewing co. And I am enjoying my evening. I haven’t posted in a while so I thought I’d let you know.

This will be the last post of this series.

and I’ll be honest I kinda don’t remember how it all went down except some main plot points…. so it’s gonna be a short one lol.

The last post ended with the heroes learning of the attack of Mandalore. (the planet) Picking up from there they headed back to the the capital of Mandalore to prepare everyone for the oncoming battle against the Yuuzhan Vong.

Every man woman and child was ready to fight to the death for the glory of the mandalorian culture. The planet was heavily fortified with countless dreadnaught class Vessels. Heavy artillery was placed every where in-order to shoot down any and all enemy ships that would get through.

The Yuuzhan Vong attacked with just as much firepower and the first few hours of the massive space battle were showing that both sides were evenly matched.The stalemate would continue until Rak (Commander of the Behemoth’s Might) would launch an all out charge on the ship lines of the Vong.

Managing to Create a large hole in the enemies defenses him and the crew of the Behemoth’s Might would turn the point of the battle. There was a cost for his actions though…. 3 Vong capital ships were able to break through the defenses of the Mandalorians and drop troops and heavy artillery and Harvesters of their own on to the surface of the planet.

It was at this point that the heroes would fling into action. They went after one of the Harvesters that was heading for the center of Keldabe The capital of the planet.

When they defeated the Yuuzhan Vong super weapon, a damaged Vong ship crash landed about a kilometer away. The group would then go to investigate the wreckage to make sure there were no survivors.

They were meet with a incredibly large creature vanishing into the smoke of the downed ship. The group fired upon the area the creature was and the beast let out a loud Roar.

The beast would make the ground shake with each step it took towards them, until just as it would have came into view it disappeared into the soil. the massive beast was tunneling underneath them! 

unaware to what they were fighting, the group prepared for the beasts attack. The ground stood still as they waiting…. the war going on all around them felt like it might as well have been on another planet. They had no Idea when or where the beast would strike.

It felt like hours where going by before the ground started to shake again as the beast moved towards them. It came flying out of the ground behind them!

A massive Greater Krayt Dragon that was genetically modified by the Yuuzhan Vong was standing in front of them and as it let out a deafening roar It lunged towards the group with it’s gaping maw.

The group fought the Krayt Dragon for an intense half an hour with Kumar (Scott) almost getting devoured by the Krayt Dragon twice.

afterwards Rak informs the group that the space battle is going incredably in there favor and the High Priest’s flagshipwas one of few ships remaining and that they should take a shuttle and board the ship and finally kill the High Priest.

The shuttle ride towards the flagship was uneventful as all of the guns on board where focused at the group of Dreadnaught class Mandalorian ships that were keeping it from fleeing.

Once the heroes were on board of the High Priest’s ship they were greeted by a voice over the intercom system. It was the High Priest himself!

He told the heroes:

“You mandalorians may have won the battle, there is no denying that, But you shall not win the war! This is just a small scouting party that I am in command of, hence why we needed the Shadow Court to weaken the republic for our attack. Since you 4 (brandon, scott, taylor, jesse) seem to be the reason that all my plans have failed, I will be jumping this ship in to dark space in 20 minutes. Even If you manage to make it to the bridge to try and stop me odds are you will be to late. I may die but this ship will float powerless for decades before anyone in your galaxy will be able to save you.”

The heroes were boned to put it bluntly.

but they ran towards the bridge finding the real Crozakel fighting a large group of Vong soilders, and after the mopping up the last of them they ran to the bridge while Crozakel explained how he was taken hostage. He then swore an oath to protect Wolly (Jesse) no matter what.

They finally made to the bridge and were meet by the High Priest.

He dropped his cloak revealing a smooth black version of the Yuuzhan Vong Vonduun Skerr Kyrric armor, and a 10 foot long snake-like creature wrapped around his body, which was quickly transformed into a spiked sword.

and the battle began.

It was a short lived brawl for the 4 heroes and Crozakel made short work of the High Priest.

They still had to deactivate the timer or stop the jump to dark space at any cost!

They tried until they knew it was impossible to use the alien technology that the ship ran on.

so they fled to the nearest life pod and ejected with less than 5 second left! they were just clearing the ship when it jumped to hyperspeed.

and as you can imagine a kilometer long spaceship going from zero to faster than light would cause tremendous amount of force upon anything near by.

needless to say the small life pod they were on board was sent spiraling out of control.

They fought for control of the life pod as they were on a collision course with one of the Mandalorian ships that was near the Flagship.

Kumar (Scott) and Sango (Taylor) fighting over the controls as they tried to regain control.

after three close calls and bouncing of the shields of a few ships they landed in the town square where they were raised in the air by a large mass of Mandalorians.

They had won the war against the Yuuzhan Vong, but if the  High Priest was telling the truth and a much larger group of Yuuzhan Vong was coming for them, the Galaxy would only be safe for a small amount of time.

END

Cast

MAIN CHARACTER:

Mer Ang- Brandon DiPiazza

Furrrr- Eddie Williams

Zoidburg- John Wauchope

Wollbacca- Jesse Barber

Tosh- Nick Montano

Kumar- Scott DuBois

Sango- Taylor Drake

SUPPORTING ROLES:

Nan (Mand’alor the Noble)

Rak (Commander of the behemoth’s Might)

Crozakel (Mand’alor the Berserker)

various other mandalorians.

High Priest of Yuuzhan Vong scouting party.

The Word of Notch: O(1) NP solving using the MQSC

notch:

I’ve invented a computer that solves NP problems in constant time. I call it the Mass Quantum Suicide Computer, or the MQSC for short.

You know Schrödingers Cat? The one in the box that is both alive and dead until you observe it? There’s a similar thought experiment in which you place yourself…

So today I went discing for the first time.

I went with my good friend Jake McClintic.

It was BAD ASS!

He picked me up, we bought beer and went discing at Brewer (I think that was how it was spelt). This was my first time discing, and I have to say I am going to be doing it a lot more!

man It was sweet. he taught me some basics that helped me a lot…. welllllll before the booze started to get to me. LOL

I even ended up getting a couple of discs of my own from a gas station near the park.

So if you ever want to go discing  hit up your good buddy J Thunder.

-J Thunder out

p.s. BPR has gained a little bit more respect from me, but the Mad Dog heavy lager I had was legit.

Recently I’ve had a lot on my mind, and after hanging out at Ethan’s until 4:30am I decided that I needed to do something about it.

So I put the good ole Ipod on suffle and started my car and went for a drive.

Back when I first started driving this was how I faced every problem that would keep me up at night.

I suggest you try it sometime, just turn on some jams and drive until you feel better. It’s quite simple really.

I drove from Ethan’s house down 28th street, took a right onto Wallace and then a left on Chicago drive.

I almost made it to Holland before it happened.

It happened when a song by Citizen Cope came on. The song being “Son’s Gonna Rise” (a great song btdubs)

one line of the song says “In a mile you’ll be feeling fine.”

and I did.

so I turned around and went home.

I didn’t really get an answer for the questions that were bothering me, but I felt like I was at peace.

and I guess that’s all I really needed.

J-Thunder out